LESSONS ON TRUST

                                                                   

                                            
                                                          LESSONS ON  TRUST
The other day ,  I was getting petrol filled at  the bunk  , when a  boy of  about  fourteen years   came up to my car to sell  lottery tickets  .He kept on pleading with me to buy a ticket .When I told him I don't buy lottery tickets ,he pleaded again saying that   he wanted to buy a school bag  with the  sale earnings  . The way he kept pleading I was tempted to buy a ticket ,just to oblige him. But I had left home in a hurry and had not taken my purse in which I kept cash . I had only my credit card with me  and told him that I did not have enough cash . I could observe that he did not believe me. The expression on his face said it all. Just as he left   another boy ,hardly  ten years old,  approached me and he also literally begged  me  to  buy a lottery  ticket . When I asked him , shouldn’t you be in school  now, he told me that  the State school he studied in had declared a holiday  as the building was being used for some  program  sponsored by the Government. He  told me that  he had got the Lottery tickets from an Agent known to his father and  wished to  buy a new umbrella with his earnings. Out of curiosity I asked him what kind of umbrella he wanted. He said he had set his eyes on a blue umbrella with a   curved   handle  in a shop at the junction. I told him that I was in a hurry to pick up someone and did not have cash with me. On an impulse I felt I could buy him the umbrella instead of purchasing a ticket.  I asked him whether I could buy him the umbrella he wanted instead of buying a ticket .He was  so excited that  he  told me the name of the shop and the brand name and price of the umbrella. I told him that I would  come  back  in the afternoon   and  would  then take him to the shop and buy him the umbrella.   I could see the disbelief in his eyes  at my statement, but he   was  thrilled and   with all the innocence of  a ten year old child  called out “you will come, won’t you ? “ . I drove away ,  waving  back in assurance. If just a thought of getting an umbrella made the boy so happy , how much more he would be when I actually got him one....that was the thought I had in mind while driving from the petrol bunk. I felt elated that I would be doing my good Deed for the day and making a little boy happy by the end of the day !

                                                 In the  afternoon    I was  driving  towards the petrol bunk to pick him up, when  at the Traffic junction    I chanced to see the teenager boy who had approached me first at the bunk  , standing near the Liquor  outlet close to the junction   . Instinctively I felt   that he was waiting for someone who had gone into the shop. I  was    right  .  I saw   a  man come out of the  shop and hand over  a   bottle to the boy.   I wondered whether the  boy  had  got the bottle  purchased for himself ,or was it for a drunkard father who had  ordered him to  come home with the stuff, or was it  for the Lottery Agent who had assigned him the task. Whatever it was , I felt that both boys were over smart and  were trying to earn sympathy from the public by  talking about the reason why they were selling Lottery tickets. I decided that I would not go  back to the petrol bunk  as promised to the younger  boy , as I  felt  that  the umbrella story  was a cooked up one for an emotional appeal  and  in all probability  that boy would also  be going home with a bottle of liquor ,after selling off  the umbrella too , if I bought him one.

                                                          It was around  four in the evening  and  I  was driving back   home and  was again held up in the traffic . As usual I was taking in the sights around  when suddenly I saw  the little  boy whom I had promised to buy the umbrella  for ,  right before my eyes ,coming  out of the corner umbrella  shop  with  a  new blue umbrella   held tightly in his hand  packed in a transparent plastic cover. He was walking   towards the Bus stop with a euphoric gait and he had the expression  of someone who had won a  trophy in  a competition  . My heart skipped a beat and I  shrunk  inwardly  , with shame  and  remorse. To think that I had  not kept my promise to him just because I saw the other boy get a bottle from a beverages outlet !  I am yet  to get over the feeling of  guilt  of having let him down. He must have surely waited for me.  His words "You will come ,won't you ? " keeps ringing in my ears till this day. With this incident he would   never ever trust a stranger especially those  who make promises. And me … I  will have to live with the guilt    of being responsible for that. But  then  , I try to console myself with the thought  that  in today’s world ,it is difficult to decipher who is genuine and who  is not. The unexpected has become so much  the matter of the day  that  it    ceases to surprise.

TO ALL MOTHERS ...WITH LOVE ...EVERY DAY

TO ALL MOTHERS ...WITH LOVE...EVERY DAY !!!

           

                                                             THE  ROLES REVERSED

                           She lay stiff and still  staring into the void  when  we  undressed her and  started giving her a sponge bath. We could feel the helplessness in her eyes .After the bath  we sprinkled talcum powder  on her  body, patting  it all over. We fixed the diapers in place while she lay helplessly  on her back .We could see  her eyes moist as we dressed her. Perhaps she was remembering the days when we were in her place and she in ours. She  ,our mother, had broken her thigh bone and  was laid up after a surgery. My sister and myself decided that however busy we were and whatever be the compulsions , we will not engage a  nurse to look after her ,but would do it ourselves. That would be the least we could perhaps do for our mother. I was a working woman at that time and it sure was a strain on  my time  and schedule. But we never regretted  taking this task upon ourselves.

 For the first few days  after the surgery , she was totally dependent on us for most of her movements.  After  that  was the next stage. First  to stand on her legs .She did it with our help .Then  it was taking a few steps- again with  our help and with the help of  a walking aid. One doubtful step--- two  ,and so on . We clapped our hands in glee when she made it , just as she must have, when we, her children , had taken our first steps. She would have held our  hands and been by our side constantly, to prevent us from tripping. We did the same…..We were always beside her  ready to give support in case she lost her balance….Finally after weeks when she  took a few steps on her own, it was a day for celebration !! It was a day of triumph for her and us !

The roles were reversed.  We her daughters had  become her mother . Those were moments  of revelation.  At that time  we realized  what  our mother  must have  suffered and also enjoyed , to put us on our feet, when we were infants. That moment  ,when  we stood by our mother , to make her stand and walk was a gratifying one. It was as though we were repaying our mother for the  efforts, sacrifices and anxieties she  must have gone through  to bring us up.

                                    Whoever said that God could not be everywhere , so He created mothers, must have  really understood what a mother’s role is , in one’s life.  The strain and the pangs of  child bearing  ,that a mother goes through  cannot be described in a few words. The child rearing part   is even more strenuous  . And our mothers go through all this without any complaints. We all grow up enjoying all the care love an affection bestowed upon us unselfishly by our mothers and we cannot think of our lives without her .But as we grow up and get on in life and become engrossed with our activities and busy living our lives , we  tend to forget all that a mother has done for us and we hardly  spare time to think of all the  strain and sacrifices that must have gone into our bringing up .We  tend to take our mothers  for granted . That I suppose is human nature. Daughters may at least remember a mother's role when they become mothers themselves but sons do not  go through that kind of an experience.

                   

                                     In their old   age , especially when mothers become widows ,they become helpless. This is the time when they   need their children   around them. But often this coincides with  the  time when the children   have settled into their own lives  and  cannot be  with the mothers  even if they wish to be, especially  in the present times.  But  I feel we should endeavor  as far as possible  to  do our best for our parents ,even if entails some adjustments  and sacrifices in our lives. We should consider it as an opportunity to  give back what we got from her. Yes, there can be tantrums –natural in the circumstance of helplessness and dependence; but  surely  we  would  also have thrown tantrums and tried her patience  in that state !  The  satisfaction that is felt for having returned at least part of what  a mother had given to us would far exceed any other happiness that we ever achieve in our lives. It is good to have the roles reversed, if not for anything else at least for a mother to know that  her sacrifices and struggles. are remembered  with gratitude.

      

    When  the roles get reversed, we are giving a tribute to a mother’s  sacrifices and struggles,  not that  any mother expects it.   No celebration of a Mother’s day  with  bouquets and gifts  can  be a  substitute for  love  , and  love  entails  some  sacrifice. Every day should be Mother’s day .

  

INTRODUCTION

                                            This is my personal blog. I just wish to put in my thoughts into this as and when I feel like it.Randomly  on random topics... whatever comes to my mind, whatever I feel like writing about.That's why I call it  MYRANDOM THOUGHTS ! It won't be serious topics...just light hearted ones ....No flowery language , no literary gimmicks..  just  plainspeak..!!!!

                                            I will begin posts shortly....   !


Vimla Menon