TO ALL MOTHERS ...WITH LOVE ...EVERY DAY

TO ALL MOTHERS ...WITH LOVE...EVERY DAY !!!

           

                                                             THE  ROLES REVERSED

                           She lay stiff and still  staring into the void  when  we  undressed her and  started giving her a sponge bath. We could feel the helplessness in her eyes .After the bath  we sprinkled talcum powder  on her  body, patting  it all over. We fixed the diapers in place while she lay helplessly  on her back .We could see  her eyes moist as we dressed her. Perhaps she was remembering the days when we were in her place and she in ours. She  ,our mother, had broken her thigh bone and  was laid up after a surgery. My sister and myself decided that however busy we were and whatever be the compulsions , we will not engage a  nurse to look after her ,but would do it ourselves. That would be the least we could perhaps do for our mother. I was a working woman at that time and it sure was a strain on  my time  and schedule. But we never regretted  taking this task upon ourselves.

 For the first few days  after the surgery , she was totally dependent on us for most of her movements.  After  that  was the next stage. First  to stand on her legs .She did it with our help .Then  it was taking a few steps- again with  our help and with the help of  a walking aid. One doubtful step--- two  ,and so on . We clapped our hands in glee when she made it , just as she must have, when we, her children , had taken our first steps. She would have held our  hands and been by our side constantly, to prevent us from tripping. We did the same…..We were always beside her  ready to give support in case she lost her balance….Finally after weeks when she  took a few steps on her own, it was a day for celebration !! It was a day of triumph for her and us !

The roles were reversed.  We her daughters had  become her mother . Those were moments  of revelation.  At that time  we realized  what  our mother  must have  suffered and also enjoyed , to put us on our feet, when we were infants. That moment  ,when  we stood by our mother , to make her stand and walk was a gratifying one. It was as though we were repaying our mother for the  efforts, sacrifices and anxieties she  must have gone through  to bring us up.

                                    Whoever said that God could not be everywhere , so He created mothers, must have  really understood what a mother’s role is , in one’s life.  The strain and the pangs of  child bearing  ,that a mother goes through  cannot be described in a few words. The child rearing part   is even more strenuous  . And our mothers go through all this without any complaints. We all grow up enjoying all the care love an affection bestowed upon us unselfishly by our mothers and we cannot think of our lives without her .But as we grow up and get on in life and become engrossed with our activities and busy living our lives , we  tend to forget all that a mother has done for us and we hardly  spare time to think of all the  strain and sacrifices that must have gone into our bringing up .We  tend to take our mothers  for granted . That I suppose is human nature. Daughters may at least remember a mother's role when they become mothers themselves but sons do not  go through that kind of an experience.

                   

                                     In their old   age , especially when mothers become widows ,they become helpless. This is the time when they   need their children   around them. But often this coincides with  the  time when the children   have settled into their own lives  and  cannot be  with the mothers  even if they wish to be, especially  in the present times.  But  I feel we should endeavor  as far as possible  to  do our best for our parents ,even if entails some adjustments  and sacrifices in our lives. We should consider it as an opportunity to  give back what we got from her. Yes, there can be tantrums –natural in the circumstance of helplessness and dependence; but  surely  we  would  also have thrown tantrums and tried her patience  in that state !  The  satisfaction that is felt for having returned at least part of what  a mother had given to us would far exceed any other happiness that we ever achieve in our lives. It is good to have the roles reversed, if not for anything else at least for a mother to know that  her sacrifices and struggles. are remembered  with gratitude.

      

    When  the roles get reversed, we are giving a tribute to a mother’s  sacrifices and struggles,  not that  any mother expects it.   No celebration of a Mother’s day  with  bouquets and gifts  can  be a  substitute for  love  , and  love  entails  some  sacrifice. Every day should be Mother’s day .